You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize