My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
