you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
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We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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