I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
