do herpes really smell.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
