Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
