I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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