Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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