Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
