Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
