Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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