i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
