sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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