Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Even my vagina gasped.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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