Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
