We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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