So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
where does the pee come out of this thing
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
