he thought i was a dude.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
