I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Randomize
