I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
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Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
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I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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