god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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