Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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