ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
