dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize