Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
