he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
