He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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