I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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