oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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