you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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