he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
