hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just found puke in my bra..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
