People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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