Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i came on her dog
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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