I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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