were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
