dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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