Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
