so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
