I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
