Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
