I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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