I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
