After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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