Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just had sex on a roof
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize