well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
