How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
