let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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