you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
