I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
