I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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