Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
