dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
