shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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