Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
