yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
