If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize