I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
