I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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