I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
