The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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