We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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