he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
