Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
