apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I currently don't understand fingers.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
