So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
