and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Let's get the cat blown out
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
