dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
