the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize