Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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